Texas has issues: Your state’s week in review

Texas has issues: Your state’s week in review

April 10
22:32 2013

A small chain of restaurants is moving up in the world after achieving a federal trademark on the word “breastaurant” this week.  Uh, what? Can we print that?

Bikinis Sports Bar and Grill, a chain originating in Bankersmith, Texas, has 14 locations in Texas, North Carolina and Oklahoma, and features scantily clad female wait staff serving up gigantic beers and lots of fried appetizers.

What separates it from other similar sports bars like Hooters and Twin Peaks is that legally, it is  now the only business than can be officially described as a “breastaurant,” which is obviously designed to draw attention to the establishment’s underdressed staff.

Your confusion over why this trademark was in such high demand is understandable, but according to the company’s CEO Doug Guller, achieving the copyright was a seven-year legal endeavor. We’re guessing all their assets kept distracting them.

Anyway, the company deserves congratulations for perseverance, if nothing else. We’re trying to come up with reasons why anyone would go to this place, but coming up short. Maybe their fried pickles are really good?

An abandoned backpack found at a New Braunfels school bus stop this week contained a lot more than extra pencils—a curious parent discovered that the bag contained a 42-inch western diamondback rattlesnake.

This slithering occupant didn’t appear to have climbed into the bag on its own, so authorities surmise someone placed the bagged reptile at the bus stop on purpose.

It’s certainly less destructive than a bomb, but we still wouldn’t want to be near the thing. No one was hurt, and the snake is being held until the investigation is complete.

Still, there are some holes in this story big enough for a medium-sized snake to crawl through. For example: was there food in the bag for the snake? What about air holes? Inquiring minds want to know.

If you’re a Texas native, you’re probably already intimately familiar with the state’s widespread anti-littering campaign: “Don’t Mess With Texas.”

The slogan and accompanying trash barrels painted like the Texas flag have graced highway signs and TV commercials since 1985, but this week the brand is getting a face lift.

We thought littering was completely wiped out worldwide after that commercial with the American Indian shedding a single tear on the side of the road, but according to the Texas Department of

Transportation, this is still a thing: “An estimated 1.1 billion pieces of trash are tossed along more than 80,000 miles of state-maintained roadways” every year. Bummer.

Still, it’s nice to see the state finally catching up with a campus as green as UNT. As far as we know, littering doesn’t even exist here ever since we installed those solar-powered trash compactors.

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